Mephitic Palavers

"What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate."

-Henry David Thoreau

For the past two years, my life has been in a constant state of flux. From one idea to the next, my mind wanders between endless deserts of change in a search for some great unknown. Where is it that I am going? When will such a hunt end? What will ultimately be that which will define me?

I started back to working on websites this weekend. There are two sites that I would like to complete and running live by the end of September. The first one, the site I have made the progress on, is lugubrious-delirium.com. This is my personal homepage.I am trying to develop a theme similar to a mental asylum, an institution of my mind. I plan to have this serve as a personal web portal and a tool to fully explore the contents of my mind. The second site I would like to complete is the alumni association site for my college fraternity. This second should be much simpler and need little to no updates once it is fully functional and online.

Another thing that I have been occupying a good bit of my time with is reading. So far this year I have probably read more books then I have in the last 10 years combined. Most of the books have been soft and social sci-fi books, which I absolutely love, and a few have been straight science books, for example on space, physics and zombie survival. One of the science books I have recently read has made a huge impact on my life. It has convinced me to take better care of my body by exercising regularly, eating healthier and taking heap of various vitamins. I do fell better physically than I have in recent years.

There are a few things that I would like to spend more time on, that mainly being writing. I feel that if I ever want to fulfill my dream of getting a few novels published, I need to start devoting more time to perfect my art. At least my new system of daily to-do lists seems to be helping me allocate the necessary attention to what I would like to accomplish. I just need to be responsible and avoid those nasty time sinks as much as possible.

Renascent Defenestration

"Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town."

-George Carlin

Achievement is the irreproachable demon that stimulates my mind into its internally generated, hormone induced addiction. I wallow in these desires of attainment, mastery and accomplishment. I devour them one by one, always indulging, never to part. I use them to countermand my insecurity of nihility.

I have reverted back to using a daily to-do list, both at work and in my personal life. So far, it has helped me remain on task and has helped me in developing a manageable routine. It has also brought the discipline of time management back into my life, a much-needed practice due to the mounds of work, hobbies, and interest that I would like to partake in. As for these lists, I think they will be good for me as long as I remind myself that they are not designed for the enjoyment of completing such lists but for the guidance and motivation of doing what I need to do or what I enjoy doing. As long as I can accomplish this, my need for such lists will remain at a healthy level.

As my blog notes, I have not allocated much time to writing. I try my best to do so but ever since I started my daily study sessions of all the mathematical theories I have be introduced to since I learned to count, I have found it harder and harder to sit down and enjoy writing or to write at all for that matter. Now this may be because my mind is mentally drained from hours of intensive calculations, but perhaps it has to do with the struggle between the left and right portions of my brain. I would probably think it was the former rather than the latter. All I can do is allocated some time to write and if I can at that time, do so and if not, perhaps another time.

Other than trying to be the dictator of my time, I have enjoyed a few rather welcomed changes in the month of July. For instance, I know only work 4 days a week, resulting in repetitive three day weekends. Hooray for no work on Mondays. Oh, I also visited the fine state of California, which was much better than actually being at work. That was a nice little break. There were a few other enjoyable things about these past few weeks but I can’t seem to put a finger on them.

I am still trying to improve my lifestyle. I have continued my running program, I can now easily jog three miles and can run a mile in under 7 minutes if the need arises. I am still trying to gain control over my eating habits that is eating healthier and less. Although it’s been hard, I think I am making some good progress. I wish I had the accessibility and the funds to switch to a strictly Japanese diet; their food is so delicious and nutritious. Perhaps one day. Also, I think this book I have been reading has convince me to start subjecting my body with a daily onslaught vitamins. Especially that which improves brain functions and slows down its unavoidable degradation. I also need to find something that will impede this unwelcomed hair loss.

Farewell Juno, Hello Life

"All that really belongs to us is time; even he who has nothing else has that."

-Baltasar Gracian

Another month has come and proceeds to pass me by. As with most months, it was jam-packed with a collage of varying experiences: the triumph over a collection of dispossessed vagrants, the aqueous venture consisting of gliding across the surface of Charleston’s harbor, the realization of my reluctance to pursue indigenous intentions, the sacred ritual of holy matrimony, and the amelioration of my personal pool of knowledge (just to name a few). I was always there, constantly meshing, through the good and the bad, the joy and the sorrow, the dove and the snake. How wonderful it had become and how quickly it came to pass. I embraced it all and await the future.

Tomorrow, for the first time in about two years, I will have my first outdoor soccer match. I can’t say that I am not excited. Although, I thought that I had another week to train but I will have to make do with the little training I have logged in over the past three days. The multiple cardio sessions and ball control sessions should give me the edge over any foreseeable competition. Also, this new outdoor league has enticed some of my teammates, who grew tired of indoor, to rejoin me on the pitch.

Work is still very slow, but on a plus note, I have begun utilizing my spare time to study for the fundamentals exam, my next step towards obtaining my professional engineering license. Yes, I finally decided to pursue this career accomplishment, I figured it would be better than idling stagnant in the area of professional development. Currently, I am in the middle of reviewing the tedious theories of mathematics. Looks like it may take some time, but ironically a study group has formed here in my department for this very test and its first session will kick off tomorrow. Working with other people should ease some of the stress associated with solitary studies.

Right now, I am doing most of my studying at work but soon I should have much more time to increase my cranium’s cognitive functions outside of work. For soon, I will begin the four-day workweek and, on top of that, I will have a wonderful five-day weekend followed by a full week of vacationing in California. Of course, I don’t plan on studying during all of this time outside the office because that would just be asinine. Instead I plan on working more on my books, keeping myself physically fit, and just doing things that just plain out make me happy. I think it is very important for a person to find the time to enjoy, that which makes them happy. I plan on being that person.

Rambles

"All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind."

-Aristotle

Why is it that the Mondays after extremely action packed weekends are close to insufferable? Wait, what am I talking about? Any day that I have to get up and go to work feels that way, especially lately. My job is un-fulfilling. It is boring. It is very reclusive and monotonous. I keep telling myself it will get better and for some time it seems like it is but I always find myself back in the rout that I am wading through this very morning. Blah, blah, blah, I dislike my occupation.

On a brighter note, I had a fantastic weekend. I spent about 4 days traveling between Iowa and Illinois by crossing the Mighty Mississippi River multiple times. Unfortunately, I did not get to swim in the river, despite my strong desires to do so. I was actually told, “Don’t even think about it” by a local, especially with the recent flood waters. Speaking of floodwaters, I did get to see some of the direct effects from all the recent flooding up there. Sure was a lot of water. Other than observing lakes of moving water, I participated in heavy amounts of celebration.

I was a groomsman for a good friend’s wedding. It ended up being a very wonderful ceremony and highly emotional. People were crying all over the place. I, too, at times, had to emit a high level of self-control in order to keep back the watery intentions of my own eyes. Everyone seemed to have a great time. We got to travel in a party bus to the reception, had a wonderful meal, and danced the night away. (Apparently, I was de-shirted by the bridal party at one point during the dance-a-thon.) Oh yeah, almost forgot, I was crowned limbo champion at the rehearsal dinner. I always thought I would be unbeatable at limbo and now I know that I am and will always be. Overall it was great to see old friends, and nice to meet some fun-loving, new people. Its is a shame that this group of people live so far apart, just thinking of all the good times that could be had.

Other than my trip to Illinois/Iowa, there is not much new going on with me life. I did get my eyes dilated last Thursday for the first time. I really did not like it, especially since my eye-doctor neglected to mention the extreme sensitivity to bright lights…sunlight. It took me about 10 minutes to make it to my car, luckily I had some sunglasses in there. Also, upon returning from my trip, I found out that a close friend of mine has to go in for heart surgery this Wednesday. It was a huge shock to me, especially since he is not even 25. I need to remember to call him tonight to see what do and to wish him luck.

Idealized Harmony

"In peace there's nothing so becomes a man as modest stillness and humility."

-William Shakespeare

I feel very plain today. I am neither happy nor sad, neither excited nor bored. I am not overjoyed with my typical bouts of madness. The challenges that usually stimulate my mind have proven to be nothing more than mundane. The extravagant has been mangled to the point of malcontentedness. The state of existence is futile.

Nothing is actually as bad as it seems. In fact, what has really changed? Absolutely zilch, well as long as you don’t take into account that which was already changing. Completely irreproachable repercussions reiterate the intonations of eternity.

Other than this strange feeling of downright normalcy, life has been moving along at an alarming pace. This is most likely due to how I have managed to keep myself fairly busy, which is something I enjoy doing. A few weeks back I went out to Las Vegas, had a good time, lost some money, and experienced the glamour of this infamous city. This past weekend, I had the opportunity to go kayaking. That of which, I must say, was extremely exhilarating. I can’t wait to experience such excitement once more. Hopefully, I still have a kayaking partner. As for this upcoming weekend, I am flying up to Illinois/Iowa for a good friend’s wedding. Can you say bridesmaids? (Haha, kidding) Other events that I am looking forward to in my near future are my trips to California, Brew at the Zoo and hopefully a tubing adventure down the Congaree/Broad River.

Another thing that I would like to comment on briefly is my out falling with the young lady I have recently been seeing/dating/what-have-ya. It was really nice to have someone to talk to, again, especially on a day-to-day basis. I hope she enjoyed our time together as much as I did. However, I do wish I would of talked to her more before rushing on home Saturday night. I was just so fed up with the situation by the end of the night, that all I wanted to do was get home and be left alone. Oh well, life sometimes throws you apples and sometimes it unleashes a bear that eats those apples. Hopefully our friendship will abide.

Life Inspires Life

“Be the change that you want to see in the world.”

-Mohandas Gandhi

The world turned away from the impending era of darkness, as humanity released it grasps on the treacheries of tyranny and the unjust natures of its embedded states of despotism. Closer and closer the world spun towards the enlightenment of the individual, the perfection of societal propensities, and, ultimately, the golden age of the natural equilibrium between man and all which encompasses this creature. Yet, it is said that such affluence does not transpire without the accompanied adversity, and as it is stated, the scream of billions began to consistently drown the laughter of the content, as their industrial world enter into the most perilous bottleneck this species have ever encountered. Alas, despite the gloom outlook, one by one people ventured out from beneath their comforting layers of apathy and took interest in the liberties that reside amongst themselves and the natural flora and fauna of this delicate ecosystem, in which they inhabit.

It was the individual that saved the many, and by individual, as it is expressed with such great regard, does not, by no means, indicate the audacity and leadership of one person but the combination of such actions perform by a multitude of unique individuals who conspired in collaboration to combat the misfortune of an ill-fated species, without the bickering over their pity differences. For in the end, they realize that humanity was not based on one’s physical appearance, personal beliefs, or the location of their residency but in one’s compassion, spirit and humility for the existence of life.

Fahrenheit 451 and the Oppression Within

"Do you ever read any of the books you burn?"
He laughed. "That's against the law!"
"Oh. Of course."

More and more often I find myself secretly secluding myself from my surroundings in order to get some one-on-one time with one of the many books that I have been dabbling in. It seems the only way to get the most out of these illusive affairs is to bunker down in the privacy of my office, bedroom, or in the vicinity of my backyard. As if what I was doing was unfit for the public eye. Perhaps, in a sense it is. Think about it. How often do you see people reading books in public places? Unless you frequent a school campus, a library, or perhaps a beach, your answer to that question is more than likely a low number, if it isn’t the infamous zero.

It is odd how peculiarly familiar a book’s message can be, how easily it’s premise can be applied to your own life, and how completely captivating and absorbing a book’s affect can be on you. For instance, I am currently reading Fahrenheit 451 and although it takes situations to the extreme, (reading books is against the law and fireman exist solely to burn books) its message(s) are so in tuned to how I feel towards many aspects of my life and that of my culture. I think the most prevalent and easily interpreted message from this novel, is the author’s concern and fear of his culture’s progression into the realm of hedonistic entertainment and the associated deterioration of critical thinking. Of course what I speak of is the nation-wide obsession with television, which became commercially available in the 1930’s and became commonly affordable and vastly desired in the 1950’s. The author, Ray Bradbury, makes the case that television eliminates your chances of questioning what was just presented to you, due to the fact that TV is a constant stream, continuing flowing, forcing you to accept the information by eliminating your desire to question through endless entertainment. (Also, the book immensely goes into detail on the whole Individual Vs. Society Theme, which I will refrain from commenting on since I could go on for days about it.)

I find it eerie how similar someone from over 50 years ago felt about a prevailing issue and how closely his farfetched, prediction of a future reality can be compared to that of my own. I know, books will never be outlawed, at least I hope not, but I think the point the author was making is that how a good portion of our culture has deprived us, or lead us astray from, the wondrous and thought-provoking qualities that are ever rampant in a well written novel. He does a great job of making you question, if books will ever really become obsolete and if so, what will be the repercussions of such a lapse in individual development.

In this day and age, I believe television to be the man culprit as the deterrence from a person’s self indulgence into the beauty of books, but I have noticed a newcomer that may take away television’s title. This young go-getter would be the industry of video gaming and it is rapidly increasing it's grasp upon our culture’s youth. Being a part of the first mainstream gaming generation, I have seen direct results the effects such influences can have on people. For instance, I have had many friends who dropped out of school, disappeared socially, or who knows what due to their obsession of a video game. Now, I am not saying that they should not be enjoyed ever; I just think that as an individual, who partakes in such entertainment, one should recognize the limits of their involvement with said entertainment. Video games are highly enjoyable but, like most things, should be enjoyed in moderation.

Well I fell like I am beginning to ramble as well as beginning to loose my train of thought, so I will close with the following statement, "I am Guy Montag!", and based off that you can assure yourself this is a damn good book. Also, check out these reading figures I found, http://www.humorwriters.org/startlingstats.html, pretty lame if you ask me.